


In Which Kankri Learns To Let Go

by Heiri_XQR (XQR)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: First Time, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Masturbation, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Game, cronkri - Freeform, karkat being a pervert, vow breaking, with a side of pale GamKar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 18:14:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/827314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XQR/pseuds/Heiri_XQR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cronus triggers Kankri and starts a cascade of feelings which result in flushed feelings being discovered. Karkat acts as a match maker as they try and get Kankri to break his vows in the least pressuring way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I tried. Takes place after they play the game however that happened. I apologise in advance for the fact I know nothing about guitars and so I googled things.  
> Also I formatted this all nice with fonts and colours on Word but turns out you can't just copy and paste that into AO3. Sad times.

  “’And then he took her bulge and –‘ did WHAT?!”

Kankri jumped when Karkat began to speak, having not heard him enter his room. He then proceeded to almost fall out of the chair as the younger Vantas began to quote from the screen and he hastily minimised the window.

  “Well, well, what was that all about?” Karkat asked, a grin on his face. “Reading porn are we? After all those times you’ve lectured me -”

Kankri blushed and turned to face the other. “While you may read, or more often _watch_ , pornographic material for the sake of physical pleasure, I do not.”

  “But that was -”

Kankri cut across him. “That was a wonderful piece of fiction I have been following for some time now. It just so happens that their relationship has reached a new level and unfortunately you happened to walk in at the precise moment when things were ‘hotting up’ as you might say. But that is beside the point. It was rude of you to sneak up on me like that and I would appreciate it if you would knock or make your presence known before entering my room in the future. Why are you here anyway?”

  “Cronus is here.”

  “You could have called up to me.”

  “Yeah, well I always hope that you want to pretend you’re not in.”

Kankri rolled his eyes. “He’s not that bad. You could at least answer the door to my friends.”

  “I always answer Porrim and the others.”

  “And I don’t see why you should treat Cronus any differently.” Kankri got up and gave his hair a quick brush. He was quite glad that Karkat had interrupted him when he had. He wasn’t sure that he could have kept his cool much longer that way that chapter had been going.

  “Cronus is a worse version of Eridan. And – fuck. That’s it.” Karkat brought a hand to his face. “You stand Cronus just like I tolerate Eridan. Fucking universes and ARGH.”

Kankri walked past Karkat and stopped at the top of the stairs. “You shouldn’t compare people like that. We are all unique and not merely ‘versions’ of each other. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think we’ve left someone waiting a little too long.”

Karkat watched his dancestor disappear down the stairs and then returned to his room.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

 

CG: WHY THE FUCK DOES HE ALWAYS COME OVER TO MINE?

CA: i dont knoww

CA: not like i can stop him

CG: MAYBE YOU SHOULD HINT THAT HE SHOULD INVITE KANKRI OVER TO YOURS OR SOMETHING.

CA: you gotta be fuckin joking

CA: wwhy wwould i wwanna havve him ovver here

CA: he came ovver one time and I swwear he talked for at least an hour

CG: YOU LEARN TO ZONE OUT.

CG: BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT. YOUR DANCESTOR COMES OVER HERE AT LEAST 3 OR 4 TIMES A WEEK AND DOESN’T FUCKING LEAVE UNTIL THE SUN’S ALMOST UP. IT’S A WONDER HE EVEN MAKES IT BACK TO YOUR HIVE.

CA: the humans made him a twwo wwheeled motor devvice that goes pretty fast

CG: CAN’T YOU BREAK IT SO HE LEAVES EARLIER?

CA: im not breakin his shit

CA: wwe just about get along so i dont wwanna do anythin to mess up the status quo

CG: FUCK. DOES ANYONE GET ALONG WITH THEIR DANCESTOR? I CAN’T BELIEVE WE EVEN REVIVED THEM, LET ALONE LET THEM LIVE WITH US.

CA: nep an meu arent doin bad

CA: an kan an por

CA: kanaya that is

CG: LUCKY THEM. WE GOT STUCK WITH THE SHITTY ONES.

CA: wwell you alwways said past yous were fuckasses or wwhatevver you called em

CA: not gonna lie i was expectin your dancestor to be a total douche

CG: WOW THANKS A LOT ERIDAN.

CG: ANYWAY JUST TRY AND KEEP HIM OUT OF MY HIVE. BECAUSE IT IS *MY* HIVE. NOT CRONUS’ OR KANKRI’S. FUCK WE SHOULD JUST MAKE THEM BUILD THEIR OWN HIVE.

 

carinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

 

 

  “Are you two matesprits or something?” Karkat asked after Cronus left. He poured some grub sauce over the meal he’d cooked.

  “Honestly, Karkat, do we look flushed for each other?”

Karkat shrugged. “I don’t know. I try not to look at you. Well, mainly I just don’t like being around when he’s here.”

  “Maybe you should try and get to know him better. Maybe you could start by talking online?”

Karkat shoved a forkful of food in his mouth. “No thanks.”

  “And perhaps he could teach you some table manners.”

Karkat swallowed. “He actually has some to teach?”

Kankri rolled his eyes.

  “I just want him to not be here all the fucking time.”

  “Language.”

  “You don’t see Gamzee waltzing over here every other day.”

  “Perhaps you should invite him.”

Karkat scoffed. “You mean you’ve been inviting him over ALL THIS TIME?”

  “Of course not, I would have run that past you.”

Karkat made a gesture where he slowly clenched his fists in frustration. “And yet you continue to invite him in.”

  “Well you haven’t said no. You can say no if you want.”

Fuck, why was he so nice? He shook his head.

  “But if we’re on the subject of things we’re uncomfortable with then perhaps I could share my feelings?”

Oh lord, he was about to go off on one. Karkat got comfortable in the chair and began to enjoy his dinner in earnest.

  “Now it’s not that I wish for you to stop, because I know that it’s something that young trolls like yourself feel the need to do, but I would appreciate it if you would refrain from being so loud, choosing your timing better or doing it less frequently. Physical pleasure is something that can diminish if one indulges too frequently, you know.”

  “Kankri. This isn’t dinner table conversation.”

  “Oh.” He looked a little embarrassed. “I forgot you were eating. But just know that the walls are actually quite thin.”

  “Well I never intended to be living with anyone else.”

 

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

CA: hey, tell me vwhat you think of this?

CA: 25.media.tromblr.com/likjuhytgfredsaxvdgcbvhgn.gif

CG: I am n9t amused in the slightest.

 

castelessGaurdian [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

Kankri had quite a surprise when he clicked the link Cronus had sent him. It was a simple tromblr gif, surely it would be a cute lusus or a troll doing something amusing. His hand went straight to his mouth when the gif loaded and he was confronted with a repeating image of a troll stroking his bulge and releasing his genetic material into a pail. He watched it happen over and over…it was a rather mesmerising scene. And oh god it was doing things to him that normally he’d be able to control. He closed the tab, but the image lingered in his mind. No, he wasn’t going to respond to this. He crossed his legs and stared out the window, trying to let his mind clear. But all he could think of was the fact that his bulge actually wanted attention for once. And maybe to watch that troll release a few more times – just for educational- who was he kidding, it was to satisfy his own fascination. It had been so long…Karkat was downstairs watching a film, so why not? He rubbed himself through the fabric of his trousers and reopened the gif. He undid the button and began to stroke gently. Oh god was that good. Why had he stopped doing this however long ago? Probably because he found it hard to start, but this could be a change –fuck. He had to stop thinking about the fact he was doing this and actually focus on getting it done.

**ooo**

Karkat switched off the TV and headed back upstairs. It was all silent as usual until he got halfway up the stairs. What was Kankri doing? Working out? Since when did he have any interest in physical fitness? Karkat continued his journey and it became quite apparent that this wasn’t _that_ kind of physical exertion. The door was slightly ajar, as it always was. Kankri had no reason to close it before, so he mustn’t have thought about it. Karkat peered through the gap and his eyes widened as it was confirmed. Yep. Kankri Vantas was actually masturbating. Well this was something that Karkat never thought he’d get to see. And holy shit was that porn on his husktop? It was. Well, now he had ammo for the next lecture/argument. Karkat forgot to move on and stood watching, feeling an ache in his groin. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to get off to this, but the way Kankri was moaning was so arousing. It was like he was trying to hold back and pretend he didn’t want what he was doing. Exactly how Karkat would have imagined he’d sound (not that he ever thought about that). He pushed his back against the wall next to the door and let a hand slide into his underwear. Okay, he was never going to admit to anyone how hard a few moans had made him. He bit down on the collar of his jumper as he began to pump; the last thing he wanted was for Kankri to realise he was outside. There was a rushed noise from within the room and not long after Karkat listened as a relieved sigh escaped his dancestor followed by the sound of fluid hitting metal. He was reminded that he would have need of his own pail unless he wanted to explain a mess to Kankri later, so he quietly moved into his room to finish.

**ooo**

Kankri looked up at the husktop to find that someone was pestering him: Cronus again. He’d never be able to tell him that he’d gotten off to that gif. Well, perhaps he could, and Cronus wouldn’t believe him.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

CA: kankri?

CA: kankri i am so sorry, you don’t evwen knowv howv bad i feel right now.

CA: are you there?

CA: come on kan, talk to me.

CA: ivwe triggered you, havwent i? i cant apologise enough.

CA: vwell heres the link I meant to send you anyvway

CA: i.trollbayimg.com/awsdefrtgvbpibnczhymnkij.png

CG: I accept y9ur ap9l9gy.

CA: oh kan, you’re back

CA: im sorry dude

CG: It’s fine.

CG: Well, n9t really, 6ut let’s put this 6ehind us. That’s a nice jacket. Are y9u thinking 9f investing in it?

CA: yeah. i just vwanted a second opinion on it before i splashed the cash.

CG: I think it w9uld suit you well.

CA: hey, could I come ovwer tomorrowv? eridans acting vweird and I vwant to givwe him some space.

CG: Umm… C9uld y9u wait a few days? May6e y9u c9uld ask Meenah?

CA: …okay chief. sorry.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] ceased trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

  “Hey, Karkat.”

The troll threw the cushion he was clutching and jumped up out of his seat.

  “FUCK ME.”

There was Cronus, face pressed into the gap where he’d left the window open. It’d been at least a week since the Aquarius had last been here, he should have been expecting it really. Must remember to thank Eridan, or Kankri, or both. He didn’t bother opening the window further, just let Cronus stand there.

  “Is Kankri in?”

  “Yeah, he’s probably upstairs screaming your name,” Karkat said casually.

  “WHAT?” Cronus’ face looked exactly how Karkat had hoped. “What did you just say?”

  “I said he’s probably upstairs steaming with distain.”

  “Listen here, you little shit, I heard you the first time. Explain.”

Karkat raised his eyebrows. “If you heard me, then why ask me to repeat myself?”

  “Because you’re lying.”

Karkat decided to open the window so they could talk better. “Look, I don’t like you and I’m sure you don’t like me, but I am not a liar, fuckass. Now I am in the most amusing situation and there’s nothing more I like than being a ‘little shit’ to Kankri. Especially right now. So let’s work together on this one.”

Cronus arched an eyebrow. “That was all very cryptic, but I’m listening.”

  “Yeah, and I’m not going to spend minutes explaining to you of all people. So let’s do us both a favour and get this fucking started. I’ll let you in and you just need to walk up the stairs quietly and check if the door’s closed fully. If it is you win and if not then you can get the fuck out of my hive. Deal?”

Cronus thought about it. “But I want to see him either way.”

  “Fine. I’ll let you in but you have to get the fuck out in an hour.”

  “Stingy, but I can do that, chief.” He couldn’t really argue.

It had turned out that Kankri had rediscovered masturbating like a 6 sweep old who had just realised they had a bulge. Karkat didn’t say anything; he thought it was good that his dancestor was finally letting go of some of his odd ideas about bodies. Besides, he still found it quite arousing to catch the end of it - Kankri remembered to close the door, but Karkat knew that Kankri always waited until he was downstairs. But that wasn’t even the best part anymore. One night he’d been quietly reading when he heard Kankri moan a name. _Finally,_ he’d whispered to himself. But when he listened and found it was ‘Cronus’ he was hearing he almost yelled. _Not matesprits, my ass._ If it hadn’t been for the fact that Cronus hadn’t been round for a few days he might have burst in to see if they were actually in there together. It wasn’t like Kankri tried fantasising about his other friends, just Cronus. Karkat was going to make sure that this became a thing. More importantly, he was going to make sure that it ended in Kankri breaking that stupid vow he wouldn’t shut up about. 

**ooo**

Cronus was disappointed when he found Kankri’s door ajar and could see the troll sitting at his husktop doing nothing out of the ordinary.

  “Hey, chief.”

Kankri closed the browser before spinning round to greet Cronus.

  “I didn’t hear you coming. Hello.” He smiled. “Wait, did Karkat let you in?”

  “Uh, yeah. Unusual of him, right?”

  “Very. Perhaps he took on board what I had to say last week. But anyway, how are you? And Eridan?”

  “We’re good. Like really good. I don’t know what’s happened, but suddenly we’re getting along a lot better.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. I always knew it would only be a matter of time before we all got along.”

As they talked Cronus watched the other, noting his gestures and the way he smiled. Kankri had never hinted that he was in anyway flushed for anyone, but maybe he hadn’t realised until now. Or at least Cronus hoped that was the case. He personally had been waxing red for his friend for a while. But he’d kept it to himself, knowing that there was no way Kankri would reciprocate his feelings. Should he broach the subject now? No, what if Karkat was lying? Maybe it was part of his plan to make Kankri reject him and never speak to him again? He laughed internally. He was over thinking this way too much. Would the kid really be that evil? Maybe. Oh yeah, they had a deal that was probably best to keep.

  “Kan, I promised Eridan I’d cook for him today, so I should really get going.”

  “Oh? Well that’s a lovely thing to do. I guess I’ll talk to you online.”

Cronus nodded and rolled off of Kankri’s bed. It wasn’t for sleeping on, but quite a few of the trolls had opted to have one after trying out the humans’ soft rectangles. It was much more comfortable than any pile they’d ever been in.

Kankri saw his friend to the door before returning to his room and opening Trollian. He sat there staring at an open window to Porrim, but he couldn’t bring himself to type anything. Would she tell anyone if he told her? He was sure she would take him seriously, but…he barely wanted to admit it to himself, let alone someone else. He closed the husktop. There was no way he was writing it down. That would make it ‘official’. He sighed and bought his knees up to his chest. Maybe he didn’t like Cronus the way he thought he did. Fantasies were not reality he reminded himself. But they worked so well together, anyone could tell you that. Yet if he did say anything…he was sure Cronus would say yes in an instant. Then would he expect them to function as proper matesprits? Pails and all? He wasn’t ready for that, besides vows come before everything else, right? He reopened the husktop. They saw enough of each other anyway, so why did they need to change their relationship? Friends could hug, right? Not that he ever voluntarily initiated hugs, but he sometimes considered it. Was it too much to ask to be able to hold his friend close? Oh, but what if he took that for pale intentions? Quadrants sure are complicated, no wonder he’d kept out of them for so long.

  “Hey, you okay?” Karkat stood in the doorway. He realised this must look quite odd – him sitting there staring at a blank screen, in a ball on his chair no less.

He smiled. “Yeah. Just thinking.” His voice was soft and he cursed internally. It wasn’t helping that he sounded like a wiggler who had a crush.

  “Alright then.” Karkat sounded amused as he left the older Vantas to it.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: hey karkat

CG: WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK DO YOU WANT?

CA: vwell i vwas vwondering if youd help me out.

CG: AND WHY WOULD I WANT TO EVEN CONSIDER HELPING A NOOKSTAIN LIKE YOU?

CA: because you like being horrible to kan?

CG: GO ON.

CA: get me evwidence that he calls my name.

CG: WHY.

CA: because I need to be 100% sure before…before i continue.

CG: OH? SO MY WORD’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. AND WHAT IS THIS YOU’RE PLANNING?

CA: you could tell anyone vwhat you told me and they vwouldnt believwe you. this is kankri after all. not sure Im cool telling you about the plan yet. maybe you could get me that proof first.

CG: I’M ASSUMING THIS ‘PROOF’ WILL BE IN THE FORM OF SOME KIND OF RECORDING.

CA: that vwould be useful.

CG: AND SAY I GET THIS FOR YOU, ARE YOU GOING TO USE IT IN YOUR *PLAN* TO SHAME MY DANCESTOR IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?

CA: vwhat? no, nothing so horrible.

CG: GOOD. SO DOES IT INVOLVE HIM BREAKING A VOW?

CA: i hope that vwill be the result.

CG: I’LL GET YOU THE GODDAMN RECORDING THEN. HELL, I MIGHT EVEN HELP YOU OUT A LITTLE. BUT ONLY IF YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME.

CA: like vwhat?

CG: I WANT THE SPECIAL EDITIONS OF MY 5 FAVOURITE FILMS.

CA: 5? thats a lot. howv about just the one?

CG: FUCK OFF.

CA: okay, 2 then.

CG: I’M PROMISING YOU AN AUDIO RECORDING OF KANKRI VANTAS GETTING OFF. IT’S GOING TO BE THE HOTTEST THING YOU’VE EVER HEARD.

CA: oh god, is it really?

CG: I DON’T GET OFF TO IT YOU SICK FUCK. BUT YOU MIGHT. OR RATHER WILL BECAUSE YOU’RE CLEARLY FLUSHED FOR HIM.

CA: okay, 3 then.

CG: MAKE IT 4. AND I’LL SEND YOU THE WHOLE THING. EVEN THE BITS WHERE HE DOESN’T SAY YOUR NAME.

CA: oh fuck. fine. this better be good.

CG: I’LL EVEN GET SOLLUX TO LEND ME HIS HIGH QUALITY RECORDING DEVICES.

CA: thanks, chief.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

Karkat started to worry that he wouldn’t be able to get his promised films because Kankri had gone back to being as silent as a mouse, except for the furious mashing of keys when someone on the internet was wrong. He wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t sent anything, but Cronus wasn’t around very often at all. Nor was he bugging him.

  “Are you doing anything today?” Kankri asked.

  “Not until later. Me and Sollux promised we’d play online fiduspawn with the Nitrams.”

  “Would you like to do something?”

Karkat narrowed his eyes. “What do you want me to do?”

  “I didn’t mean anything like that,” Kankri said, a little hurt by Karkat’s assumption. “I meant do something together.”

  “Implying that when we painted your room we weren’t ‘doing something together.’”

Kankri sighed. “Look, I was just trying to be nice and suggest we go out and watch a movie or something.”

Karkat folded his arms. “Okay. Where has the other Vantas gone? The normal one usually doesn’t do this.”

  “Karkat, I just think we should do more things together. It’s worked out so well for Cronus and Eridan – they’ve taken a trip to east Alternia!”

  “Ah. That’s why you’re here. Your source of entertainment is halfway across the planet and so it falls to me to fill the void.”

The hurt was apparent on Kankri’s face. “Well I’m sorry, but you didn’t seem to be making any effort either.”

  “What if I didn’t want to?”

At that Kankri turned and the sound of a door slamming followed.

  “FUCK.” He didn’t mean to sound so horrible. But it was the truth; he wasn’t terribly interested in spending more time with the troll. They already saw enough of each other indoors, at least Karkat thought so anyway.

He forced himself to get up and knock on Kankri’s door.

  “Go away!” he heard Kankri yell.

Karkat gave a frustrated growl. “Kankri, come on. I didn’t mean for it to sound like that.” He paused. “Look, I think it’s a great idea. I’ll even buy us some ice cream after if you want.”

He heard shuffling from inside and then the door opened. It was clear that Kankri had been trying really hard not to cry. God, now he felt even worse.

  “Okay,” was all he said.

Karkat placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to be natural. He knew Kankri didn’t like being touched, but it was a sign of trust that he didn’t know how else to convey. “You can even pick the film.”

Kankri nodded and they started to get ready.

**ooo**

They ended up seeing the latest rom-com that Karkat had wanted to see, except he’d been unwilling to go alone and Gamzee wasn’t interested. He wondered if Kankri had picked it because he knew that’s what he wanted to see, but then he thought about the other options and couldn’t really imagine the older troll enjoying a horror or action film. Light-hearted was definitely Kankri’s genre.

  “I really thought she’d get with the blue blood,” Kankri said as they walked back.

  “What? You want to discuss rom-coms?” Karkat was taken aback. “With me? You do know what you’re walking into, right?”

  “Probably a long dissection of the film we just watched, lengthy enough to rival one of my own lectures on the hemospectrum?”

  “Damn right.” Karkat flexed his hands. “So. They wanted you to think that she would go for the blue blood because he seemed to be this perfect guy who not only looked good, but was also had a pretty decent personality. But I personally was rooting for the rust blood all the way.”

  “Language.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “Anyway, her best friend was clearly the better option, despite blood colour which clearly meant a lot to her and her peers. The story was all about how you forget about that and concentrate on those you truly love.”

  “But how do you realise when you love your best friend?”

  “You just know. Just like how you would know you’re flushed for someone.”

  “And what’s that like?”

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “Since when were you so interested in the intricacies of the red quadrant?”

  “It’s purely research,” Kankri said, hoping Karkat wouldn’t see right through him. “The work of fiction I’m reading has described some emotions, but I wanted to see if they translate into real life. Some tales can be so fantastical that I wonder if such romances occur in the real world. I figured you’d have an opinion of high value on the subject.”

Karkat laughed at the way Kankri was buttering him up. “Knowing you, you’re probably reading fluff that would make any self respecting troll choke. But you’ve seriously never felt anything for anyone?”

  “I never allowed myself to.”

That almost made Karkat pity him; but it was his choice. “Well, you…you start to notice little things about them that you didn’t before. Then you catch yourself thinking about them randomly and more often than you would if they were just your friend. Um…you’ll want to spend more time with them. Some people get it really bad and just want to spend every waking moment with their crush. And then what most normal trolls progress to is fantasising about the other…you know, pailing.”

Karkat made sure to turn and watch as Kankri’s face flushed with a red tinge. God, it was so easy to do that.

  “Are you flushed for anyone, Kanny?” Karkat asked in the most innocent voice he could muster.

  “N-no. And don’t call me that!”

Karkat laughed and pushed open the door to the hive. “No need to get defensive, dear dancestor. Now I have a game to play.”

He disappeared upstairs and Kankri was glad to have some space to think. He grabbed a cushion and hugged it to his chest as he lay down on the sofa. It was ridiculous to deny that he wasn’t having red feelings for his friend. But should he act on them? No, surely it would all pass with time. He liked how things were now and he didn’t want to change them. That was what he would keep telling himself. Then things would return to normal and no one need ever know about this internal crisis he was having.

**ooo**

Having planned everything, Karkat was quite pleased when he returned from Gamzee’s and found that Kankri had delivered. It hadn’t been much trouble to hide a recording device in Kankri’s room and god was it way better than anything he could have got through the wall. He listened to it more than once before he even remembered that he’d gone to all this trouble to give it to Cronus. There was a special place on his husktop for this file.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

CG: I GOT THE RECORDING.

CA: avwesome.

CG: [FILE TRANSFER: ACCEPT – DECLINE]

CG: ENJOY IT. I EVEN LEFT IN THE BIT FROM EARLIER IN THE EVENING WHERE HE WAS SINGING.

 

Cronus played the file as soon as it came in. Kankri singing was sweet, but he did skip ahead to the real goods. Oh. Oh wow. This really was good. Such cute little gasps… It felt so wrong to intrude on his friend like this, but he wasn’t going to stop listening. He had just begun to stroke his own bulge when he heard his name called softly. Oh lord, Karkat wasn’t lying and this was possibly the best thing he’d ever heard. It just got better from there. Kankri called his name louder and with more need…he could hear creaking. So he liked the comfort of the bed? He’d remember that.

 

CG: WELL?

CA: that was amazing.

CG: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO RESPOND.

CA: vwell it vwasnt short. many thanks though.

CG: I EXPECT YOU TO UPHOLD YOUR END OF THE DEAL.

CA: doing it now.

CG: I ALSO HAVE SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW.

CA: oh?

CG: I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THIS DEAL IS FULFILLED. TRUST ME, YOU’RE GOING TO LIKE THIS IF YOU LIKED THAT.

CA: trust. haha. but you have me intrigued.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

Cronus turned up a few days later and slipped Karkat his promised films when Kankri wasn’t looking. Karkat checked the bag’s contents and gave the other a thumbs up before motioning that he’d tell him later.

  “What’s this?” Kankri asked. “You’re finally able to stand in each other’s presence without fighting?” He smiled at the prospect.

Karkat reacted first. “What? I was just leaving.” Cronus gave him a playful shove. “What the fuck?! Touch me again and I swear -”

  “Calm down, chief.” Had he really upset the boy? Or was this all part of the act? He placed a hand gently on Karkat’s shoulder and the Cancer pushed it away before leaving.

Kankri sighed. “I’m sure you’ll get along one day.”

  “I do try, but he’s not easy to work with. Do you two even get along?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “So, what are you making?” Cronus said, taking a few steps closer to Kankri and the bowl he was putting things into.

  “They’re called cup cakes.”

Cronus looked down at the unappetising gloop. “Don’t look like cups to me. You really going to eat that?”

  “They’re not done yet, but Jane assures me that once they’re baked they’ll taste really good.”

The Aquarius watched as Kankri spooned the mixture into small cake cases and placed them in the over. It was a long wait, or at least to Cronus, and they passed the time by discussing east Alternia. Cronus recounted his trip and assured Kankri that Damara was one of a kind; most of the people over there were actually quite likeable and not at all threatening – well, as unthreatening as random trolls could be.

  “I think they were all quite fascinated to see sea dwellers so far inland.”

The oven beeped and Kankri took out the cup cakes that now looked a lot more appetising.

  “Well, they look good, are you going to decorate them?” Cronus asked as Kankri moved them to a cooling tray.

  “I suppose I could put a little icing on them like Jane sug- ow!” Kankri pulled his hand away from the still hot tray, forgetting that it had just spent a long time in the oven.

  “You okay, Kan?” He took Kankri’s hand in his own, only to have the Cancer snatch it back quickly and begin to suck his thumb.

  “It’s fine.” He ran the cold tap. “Just caught me by surprise. I’m not usually that silly, but thank you for your concern. Did you want to help with the decorating?”

  “Sure thing.”

Together they followed the instructions to make icing, during which Cronus refrained from telling Kankri what his too-watery icing actually reminded him of. Once they had finished topping the cakes with the red icing they finally got to tasting them.

  “Well?” Kankri asked as he watched Cronus carefully deliberating over the cake.

  “They’re good. I could get used to having more human food around.” It probably helped that Kankri had been the one who had made them.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: hey. that vwhole thing earlier vwas all in jest right?

CG: IT WAS ALL AN ACT, YEAH.

CA: okay, cool. vwas vworried id annoyed you.

CG: I WAS HOPING YOU’D PLAY ALONG. CAN’T HAVE KANKRI THINKING WE’RE ACTUALLY KIND OF OKAY WITH EACH OTHER. WHICH I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM NOT OKAY WITH YOU YET. YOU’RE STILL FUCKING ANNOYING AND I WOULDN’T WANT TO SPEND ANY MORE TIME WITH YOU THAN NECESSARY.

CA: awv, youre hurting my feelings.

CG: FUCK YOUR FEELINGS. THIS IS PURE BUSINESS TO ME.

CA: yeah, you said youd tell me something.

CG: YEAH. YOU BETTER PREPARE YOUR THINK PAN BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO BLOW IT.

CG: KANKRI IS FLUSHED FOR YOU.

CA: come on nowv, thats a bit far-fetched. you expect me to believwe that?

CG: DIDN’T WE ESTABLISH THAT I DON’T LIE?

CA: and didnt you tell me you enjoy being a little shit?

CG: YOU CAN CHOOSE NOT TO BELIEVE ME. BUT THAT’S NO FUN.

CA: did he actually explicitly say it?

CG: NO. BUT HE STARTED ASKING ALL THESE WEIRD QUESTIONS. LIKE ‘HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU LOVE YOUR BEST FRIEND?’ WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT FROM KANKRI? PRETTY OBVIOUS WHO IT’S REFERRING TO.

CG: AND THEN I ASKED HIM IF HE WAS FLUSHED FOR ANYONE. AND HE FUCKING STUTTERED. KANKRI DOESN’T STUTTER EVER. UNLESS HE’S STANDING THERE BLUSHING BECAUSE HE HAS A CRUSH ON A FUCKING AMPORA NO LESS.

CA: okay okay.

CA: i want to believwe, so let me ask you something. if I vwere to make a movwe on him, vwould you help?

CG: DEPENDS WHAT THAT ENTAILS.

CA: vwell just givwing me some inside info like you havwe been doing. vwere friends, but he really does keep some things locked avway.

CA: also he says you consider yourself quite the expert on matters of the blood pusher.

CG: I GUESS I CAN DO THAT. IT’S NOT GOING TO BE EASY TO CRACK HIM.

CA: yeah, and to be honest im vworried about messing it up.

CG: NOT IF YOU LISTEN TO EVERYTHING I SAY. AND DON’T FUCK UP THE THINGS I TELL YOU TO DO.

CA: ill try my hardest, chief.

CA: so shall i just start making a movwe or do you have a plan?

CG: GIVE ME A MINUTE.

CG: OKAY. SO FIRST WE NEED TO MAKE SURE HE’S COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE WITH YOU. OTHERWISE HE MIGHT JUST SHUT YOU OUT IF HE REALISES WHAT YOU’RE UP TO.

CA: i thought he vwas pretty comfortable with me.

CG: HOW DOES HE REACT TO YOU TOUCHING HIM AND BEING CLOSE TO YOU?

CA: vwell kan doesnt like that with anyone.

CG: WRONG. HE LETS PORRIM HUG HIM. DOES HE LET YOU DO THAT? NO. I DIDN’T THINK SO.

CA: vwe…vwhen i realised he didn’t like contact i made sure i kept my distance. probably one of the reasons vwe became good friends is because i knewv vwhere to drawv the line.

CG: AND BECAUSE YOU’RE ONE OF THE FEW WHO CAN STAND HIM. OH AND THE FACT THAT HE CAN STAND YOU, OF COURSE.

CA: lets cool it vwith the insults. so howv do you suppose i get kan to be ultra cool vwith me?

CG: INVADE HIS PERSONAL SPACE.

CA: but he’ll hate it.

CG: TRUE. BUT YOU’VE BEEN FRIENDS LONG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO EITHER ACCEPT IT OR TELL YOU TO FUCK OFF.

CG: OR RATHER KINDLY REMOVE YOURSELF FROM HIS VICINITY.

CA: and vwhat if he says the latter?

CG: THEN WE’LL HAVE TO RETHINK AND PROBABLY END UP DOING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE DRASTIC.

CA: so a bit closer, maybe touching a hand, or a hug?

CG: SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. HE’S PROBABLY ONLY JUST REALISED HIS FEELINGS AND YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM THIS RED OVERLOAD? I THINK NOT. UNLESS YOU CAN WORK STUFF INTO YOUR USUAL TIME TOGETHER THEN LEAVE IT OUT. LIKE DON’T JUST TAKE HIS HAND BECAUSE YOU WANT TO – DO IT BECAUSE YOU’RE SHOWING HIM HOW TO DO SOMETHING. AND NO HUGS UNLESS THEY’RE JUST AN ARM AROUND THE SHOULDER TYPE THING.

CA: vwoah, okay, i got it.

CG: WHAT WE WANT IS FOR HIM TO FEEL LIKE HE’S IN CONTROL AND THAT HE’S LEADING WITH THIS.

CA: yeah, i get you.

CG: GIVE IT TWO WEEKS. IF YOU HAVEN’T SCREWED IT UP IN THAT TIME THEN WE’LL MOVE ONTO PHASE 2. GOOD LUCK, NOOKSTAIN.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

A knock at the door, earlier than expected, but Karkat guessed it was better than being late as usual.

  “You’re ear – oh. It’s you.”

Cronus stood on his doorstep, rather than the Capricorn he was expecting.

  “Nice to see you too.”

  “Kankri’s popped out to pick up some things.”

  “Well, can I come in?”

Karkat sighed. “Yeah, I guess.” If only Gamzee was here, then he wouldn’t have to entertain Cronus alone. Not that he was obliged to, but he wasn’t going to hide upstairs like a wiggler.

  “How long do you think he’ll be?”

  “No idea. What are you doing here anyway? Isn’t four days in a row over doing it?”

  “No? I would invite him over to mine, but it’s a pain with the hive being in the ocean.”

  “You could offer to pick him up and drive him,” Karkat suggested.

  “What’s wrong with here?” Cronus gave a weak smile. Truth was he imagined that if he brought Kankri over too often that Eridan would kick him out without a second thought. He was surprised at how nice Karkat was to Kankri in that respect.

Karkat rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. “So how is everything progressing? The fact you’re here suggests you took my advice.”

  “It’s going well.” Cronus smiled properly. “But I think I might be being a little too careful.”

  “Well I’m not going to tell you not to push a little harder, but just beware that if you do you run the risk of ruining the plan.”

Cronus looked troubled. “Do you really think he’d push me away?”

  “I can’t be certain, and you probably know him better than me, but from what I’ve seen and heard he’ll put up walls if he thinks there’s too much romantic attachment with someone. Didn’t he do that with the older Pyrope?”

  “He’s never discussed that with me, but he seemed to…but maybe that’s because she got with Mituna?”

Karkat shrugged. “Like he’d tell me.” The sound of the door opening filled the room. “You’re lucky he’s back or I’d have kicked you out.”

  “Oh, you’re here early, Cronus.” Kankri walked in, followed by a familiar face.

  “Gamzee!” Karkat jumped up and rushed to hug his moirail. “Are you okay?” he whispered, worried that Kankri would have drove him insane. Gamzee smiled and nodded. Yeah, he was mellow enough to just agree with anything Kankri had said, probably hadn’t even heard half of it. The pair disappeared upstairs, leaving the older trolls.

  “I’ve never seen Karkat so animated,” Cronus noted.

Kankri shook his head with a hint of disapproval. “I don’t know what he sees in that troll. He’s got his head in the clouds and it sounds like he’s in a dark cult.”

  “Kurloz isn’t much different.”

  “I never talked to him much, not just because he couldn’t contribute his ideas verbally, but because he didn’t seem to want to listen.”

  “Did anyone want to listen?” Cronus made an incoherent sound as he tried to explain, ending up putting a finger to Kankri’s lips and clearing his throat before continuing. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I just meant that most of our ‘friends’ would rather not listen to your ‘lectures’. I’m happy to listen all day.”

Kankri moved the finger that was still pressed against his lips. “Yes, well, I was only trying to educate them. Still, I don’t think that the Makara boy is doing Karkat any good.”

  “If they’re happy together then we shouldn’t interfere.”

  “I know, but Kanaya would have been such a great moirail for him.”

Cronus shook his head. “You can’t go round wishing our dancestors were in the same relationships as us. Just look at Aranea and Meenah – absolutely great. But imagine Vriska and Feferi in the same quadrant…it just wouldn’t work.”

  “True, but the Leijons and Zahaaks work well together.”

  “Okay, but now imagine if we had to work based on their relationships – I’d have to let Meenah shoosh pap me and you’d be off getting down with our clown.”

  “No thanks.” Kankri disappeared into the food block and Cronus got up and followed. “Are you hungry?” Kankri asked as he placed a few items into the cooling box.

  “No, I’m good. I remembered to bring my guitar today.”

  “I noticed.” Kankri smiled. “So, are you going to start teaching me? Or will you play me a few things?”

  “I figured a bit of both.” Cronus walked back into the main room and began to check the tuning. “Anything in particular you’d like me to play?”

  “I’d like to hear something you like.”

  “Alright then. I’ll play you something I’ve recently learned. It’s from one of the films popular on Earth. And really it should be sung as a duet, but I’d like to play it anyway, because it’s something I like.” Cronus played a few warm up chords while Kankri sat own on the other end of the sofa, and then he launched into Summer Nights from Grease.

Kankri listened with a smile on his face. He wasn’t listening to the lyrics really, he was watching Cronus. Watching the way his hand strummed the strings, the way his head bobbed to the tune. He looked so beautiful when he lost in the music. The song slowed and Kankri noticed Cronus smile at him before he continued. Oh, it was a song about two people in love…just the beginning. Had Cronus picked this song intentionally? Kankri shook his head at himself. Of course this was just something his friend liked. Yes, his friend who was just that: a friend. But maybe he could ask – no. He reminded himself that he had thought this out and that getting into a quadrant with Cronus was a bad idea. Things are better this way. Things are better this way, he repeated mentally.

  “So, what did you think?”

Kankri snapped out of his internal struggle. “It was lovely. Um, but that’s a bit complicated for a beginner like me.”

Cronus smiled. “I was just going to start you off with actually holding a guitar and playing a few chords.” He held out the instrument to the Cancer.

Kankri took the guitar and held it the same way that Cronus always did. He brushed a thumb against the strings and smiled. Cronus nodded for him to experiment and Kankri pressed down on the strings while he strummed.

A few minutes of random notes later the Cancer looked up. “So, how do I make it play pleasing music?”

Cronus slipped onto the floor and patted the space between his legs. Kankri hesitated before settling there, his back to Cronus.

  “I know it’s kind of awkward,” Cronus began as he shifted into a better position. “But it’s easier for me to teach you like this.” Which was half true. He would find it easier to place his hands like this, but really it was just an excuse to get closer. “Right, so you have six strings and 12 frets and these give you 37 different notes…” Cronus continued to explain the ins and outs of the guitar and how the notes worked. Kankri tried to take it all in, but it was a lot of information to start and having Cronus so close wasn’t helping. His sweater was becoming awfully warm and he could feel Cronus’ breath on his neck when he spoke which made him shiver. A hand touched his and he almost flinched. Cronus moved his fingers into place and told him to strum. “That’s C major.” Cronus continued to show him a variety of chords, delicately moving his fingers each time. Kankri tried to remember which was which, but there were more than he was expecting and the head resting on his shoulder sure wasn’t helping. Eventually Cronus announced that he would begin to teach him a song, just a simple nursery rhyme every troll heard growing up on Beforus. It was odd to think that Karkat and his friends didn’t know the song. The Aquarius asked him to play three chords.

  “Um… Cronus, I appreciate that you think I’m that good, but you did go through the chords rather fast.”

  “Oh…I’m not a very good teacher, am I?”

  “No, no, you’re fine. It’s just that there were at least ten chords you just showed me and I can’t remember which one’s which.”

Cronus took his hands again, whispering the name of the chord in his ear as he played the first few. Kankri smiled when he heard a recognisable tune beginning to come from the guitar. Something buzzed across the room and Cronus sighed.

  “Well, this was fun, but I’d best be off or I’ll get caught in the sun.”

Kankri was slightly disappointed when the other got up to retrieve his jacket. He’d become quite accustomed to having Cronus so close. He got up and handed Cronus his guitar. “It was great, maybe we should continue another time.”

Cronus was visibly surprised. “You really want to? Only if you’re sure. I was worried I was boring you.”

  “It’s difficult, but I imagine it could be quite a rewarding skill if I put some time into it.”

Without a second thought Cronus hugged Kankri, overcome with joy at the prospect of one day playing alongside his friend. “Oh, sorry.” He let go quickly. “I just – yeah – would love to hear you play. And maybe we could play together – maybe we could put together a little band and – sorry, I’m rambling.”

Kankri gave a small laugh. “It’s lovely to see you so happy. I’ll consider it, but you really should get going.”

Cronus looked up at the sky and nodded. He slung the guitar over his back and jumped onto his motor vehicle. Kankri stood at the door and waved him off.

**ooo**

  “Well, wasn’t that cosy?” Karkat said as he came down the stairs. Cronus had just left after another guitar lesson. “Didn’t think you’d let him teach you to play quite like that.”

  “It was the easiest way,” Kankri said as he followed Karkat into the food block. They’d been playing for a few hours and he found he was actually quite hungry now.

  “Yeah, sure,” Karkat said as he pulled out some meat. “I’m just surprised you let him is all.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “I thought being in such close proximity would be too ‘triggering’ for you.”

  “Not at all.”

Karkat took two steps towards Kankri and placed an arm against the wall, trapping his dancestor between the worktop and himself.

Kankri rolled his eyes. “Stop it, Karkat.”

  “Triggered?”

  “Not at all.”

Karkat placed the pan he was holding on the side and used his now free hand to stroke Kankri’s cheek.

  “Now?”

  “I know what you’re trying to do,” Kankri said with a huff. “So just stop.”

Karkat let his hand trail down Kankri’s body and he reached his hip before a hand wrapped around his wrist and Kankri hissed “stop”.

Karkat smirked in victory. “See, you can’t even do that little bit of contact with your own dancestor and yet you’ll happily sit with your back to some highblood.”

Kankri folded his arms across his chest. “First of all, a highblood he may be, but he is my friend before that. I know that on Alternia your highblooded friends may wish to cull you – in the sense that they would kill you, but that is not how it worked on Beforus. While I didn’t wish to be culled in our nicer sense of the word, it was not something that meant I couldn’t befriend those of higher blood than myself. Secondly, he is a trusted friend, so I don’t mind being in close contact with him. I know he won’t do me any harm.”

  “Oh? You don’t trust me?”

Kankri was quiet for a moment before answering. “Well, you have a tendency to pull pranks, something you not doubt picked up from John, and that makes me slightly uneasy around you.”

  “Honestly, what do you think a bit of physical contact is going to lead to?” Karkat paused and thought of all the fun things he could do to annoy Kankri that involved touching him. “Actually, don’t answer that. I guess you’re right not to trust me as wholly as you do Cronus. But I still find it odd that you trust someone who’s not in one of your quadrants.”

  “And I can’t believe you find the Makara boy trustworthy enough to fill one.”

  “You just don’t know him well enough.”

  “Ah, I could say the same about you and Cronus.” Kankri cocked his head, waiting for Karkat to counter.

  “But. You are not. In a quadrant,” Karkat said disjointedly.

Kankri sighed. “I guess this is where cultural differences will keep us from agreeing. On Beforus we weren’t obsessed with killing each other.”

  “We’re not obsessed; it’s just a natural desire for our species.”

  “It is for you, but it isn’t for us. Let’s agree to disagree.”

Karkat picked up the pan again. “Good idea.”

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: so is it time for phase 2?

CG: I GUESS.

CA: vwell?

CG: GIVE ME 10 MINUTES. I JUST GOT UP AND YOU’RE ALREADY ON MY CASE.

CG: OKAY. SO THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT KANKRI TRUSTS YOU. MORE THAN HE FUCKING TRUSTS ME.

CA: im honoured.

CG: AND I’M PISSED THAT I’M LOSING TO A BULGESUCKER LIKE YOU. BUT LOOKING BACK AT OUR RECENT INTERACTIONS I CAN SEE WHY. PAST ME IS SUCH A DICK. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TALK TO HIM TO FIND OUT WHAT HE’S THINKING, BUT EVERYTIME I TRY I FUCK IT UP AND HE WON’T TELL ME ANYTHING. I MEAN I WOULDN’T TELL ME ANYTHING EITHER. CAN’T BLAME HIM.

CA: dont beat yourself up about it. maybe you can leavwe that bit to me?

CG: LOOKS LIKE I MIGHT HAVE TO.

CA: so vwhats the plan?

CA: karkat?

CG: SORRY. KANKRI JUST WALKED IN. APPARENTLY YOUR WRIGGLING DAY IS SOON.

CA: yeah, it’s in a fewv vweeks.

CG: PERFECT.

CA: vwhy is it?

CG: I JUST WANT YOU TO KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING. MAYBE TRY FOR A HUG OR SOMETHING.

CA: i thought phase 2 vwould include more. but vwhatevwer you say chief.

CA: one question.

CA: does he still call my name?

CG: NO IDEA. I’M NEVER AROUND IF HE DOES.

CA: vwhat if he’s givwen up?

CG: NOT LIKELY. I’VE SEEN THE WAY HE WATCHES YOU.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

  “Pass me a whisk,” Kankri said.

Karkat opened the draw and handed one to him. It was the day before Cronus’ wriggling day and Kankri was baking him a cake with a mix Jane had sent over seeing as the last batch had been a success. Karkat wasn’t really needed to help, but he hung around the kitchen anyway, knowing he’d get to lick to bowl out at least.

  “Why didn’t you just get Jane to send a cake over?”

  “Because it’s more personal this way.” Kankri picked up the bowl and began to whisk it with as much force as he could muster.

  “Are you going to decorate it with a heart?”

  “Why would I do that? His sign would be much more appropriate.”

Karkat shrugged. “Might be a good way to show him your red feelings.”

Kankri’s whisking got faster. “I am not flushed for him,” a note of finality in his voice. He really had convinced himself that this was not a thing. Or tried to.

  “No, of course not,” Karkat said and reminded himself to not be too sarcastic. “That’s not why I hear you moaning his name.”

Kankri’s eyes widened. “I…I don’t know what you…” The look on Karkat’s face was one of victory, but he played it cool. “Say I was to entertain your notion that I am flushed for him, then what?”

  “Well I’d suggest that you tell him. Maybe not with the cake decorating idea, but actually just tell him.”

  “I can’t,” Kankri said.

  “Why not?”

  “It wouldn’t work…I don’t want to change things.”

Karkat picked up the bowl and continued to whisk while Kankri stretched his arm. “But I can see how much you want to change things every time you’re together. Why not just take a chance?”

  “I wouldn’t make a good matesprit.”

  “Then you can end it whenever you like.”

Kankri sighed. “But…”

  “Cronus would understand. He’s your friend, right?”

Kankri looked unsure and took the bowl back. “I’ll think about it.” He poured the mix into the tin.

  “Well, what would you say if he asked you first?”

  “I don’t know.”

Karkat laughed. “Wow. We’ve finally found something that you don’t have an opinion on.”

  “I would either reject him without a second thought or I’d…” Kankri hid his face; it was the cutest thing he’d ever done in Karkat’s presence. “I’d tell him how much I love him.” The word ‘love’ was said so quietly that Karkat wondered if he’d actually said it. Kankri put the cake in the oven and then absconded from the food block, a faint blush on his face. That was it. It was all out in the open now that he’d actually told someone. He fell onto the bed and wondered if he could actually pluck up the courage to say something. Maybe he should ask…no. He couldn’t tell Porrim either. Was it wrong to keep something like this from your moirail? Probably. But he couldn’t just tell her. But he’d just told Karkat. Oh god what was the boy going to do with that information? They’d been a bit rocky the last few weeks and Kankri had just given away his greatest secret. He just wanted to hide forever.

 

carcincoGeneticist [CG] began trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

CG: I JUST GOT CONFIRMATION THAT HE IS DEFINITELY STILL FLUSHED FOR YOU.

CA: really? vwhat happened?

CG: HE SAID, AND I QUOTE, ‘I LOVE HIM.’

CA: i vwant to cry from happiness.

CG: GOD IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE SOPPY I’M OUT.

CA: vwas there more?

CG: I TOLD HIM THAT HE SHOULD TELL YOU IN PERSON.

CA: and?

CG: HE SEEMS HESITANT. WHEN HE GOES OVER TOMORROW DON’T LET HIM LEAVE UNTIL ONE OF YOU HAS SAID SOMETHING.

CG: BUT OBVIOUSLY I’M TRYING TO GET HIM TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.

CA: okay, so let me make sure i heard you correctly.

CA: you vwant me to tell him im flushed for him by the end of tomorrowv?

CG: YES.

CA: i vwont let you dovwn.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

Eridan looked royally pissed by the time it was just Kankri and Feferi left in his hive, along with his permanent resident of course.

  “Well, are you goin’ yet?” Eridan asked the two older trolls.

  “Yeah, we’ll head off soon,” Cronus said.

  “Good and when you get back you can clean this fuckin’ mess. We’re never havin’ that lot over again.”

Feferi placed a hand on his cheek and began to lead him away from the sight of his trashed main room.

  “I could help if you like,” Kankri offered.

  “Nah, it’s fine. Did you want any more cake before you go?”

Kankri shook his head. “I’m good, but perhaps you could give Eridan some as a peace offering.”

  “I don’t think pacifying him will be that easy.”

  “Well, we should get going then.”

Cronus followed Kankri out and hopped onto the motor vehicle. It was much like a motorbike and meant that the Cancer had to hold onto him for the duration of the ride. Cronus had suggested he hold onto the back of the seat, but Kankri had been worried he’d fall off. As they rode Cronus thought about what Karkat had instructed him to do…something he hadn’t yet managed. It had been too busy with all of the other trolls round earlier; there wasn’t space to talk to Kankri privately. This was going to be a delicate conversation and he couldn’t mess it up. He had considered saying something just before they left, but if Kankri rejected him that would have been one awkward ride across the sea. No, he’d wait until the last moment.

  “Kan…” he began when the other dismounted the vehicle.

  “Yes?”

  “I had fun today. Thanks for the cake.”

Kankri smiled. “I’m glad you liked it.”

  “I did. Um…” Okay, he just had to say it. Or something. God, how should he phrase it? He’d had a whole day to plan this and he hadn’t thought about how he’d translate his feelings into words.

  “Hmm?” Kankri looked at him expectantly. He was going to think something was up… _Just say it! No, I can’t._

  “It’s nothing. See you soon, I guess.” Damn, he’d bottled it. Karkat wasn’t going to be pleased. But really, confessing his love on the doorstep of his hive? Not the classiest way to go about it.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: im sorry.

CA: i didnt say anything to him today.

CG: WHY THE FUCK NOT? I SET HIM UP YESTERDAY TO BE READY FOR THIS.

CA: there vwas nevwer a right time and vwhen it might havwe been i didnt knowv vwhat to say.

CG: YOU’RE JUST SUPPOSED TO SAY HOW YOU FEEL. IT SHOULDN’T BE HARD.

CA: vwell it is. havwe YOU evwer confessed to someone?

CG: I’M SMOOTH ABOUT THIS SHIT. I TOLD HER THAT I THOUGHT THE WORLD OF HER, BUT SHE DIDN’T TAKE THE BAIT. THINGS WERE ROUGH BACK THEN SO I DIDN’T PUSH IT.

CA: and howv should i be smooth then?

CG: BY NOT JUST SAYING ‘I LOVE YOU’ OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT. YOU BUILD IT UP. SAY HOW YOU LOVE AN ASPECT OF THEM, HOW THEY ARE AN AMAZING PERSON AND SO ON. DON’T JUST DUMP THE BIG REVEAL ON THEM.

CA: should i come round tomorrowv and do it then?

CG: I DON’T KNOW. THIS IS YOUR THING. MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK HIM IF HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR IRRITATING FACE AGAIN.

CA: okay.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

CA: hey kan. vwould you mind if i came round tomorrowv?

CG: N9t at all. Any particular reas9n y9u’re asking in advance?

CG: Cr9nus?

CA: sorry, eri vwas yelling at me for missing a plastic cup.

CA: i vwanted to talk to you about something.

CA: in person.

CG: 9h? Was this the thing y9u passed 9ff as ‘n9thing’ earlier?

CA: youre sharp.

CG: I c9uld tell y9u wanted t9 say s9mething. It’s unlike y9u t9 withh9ld things fr9m me. I am quite intrigued; especially since y9u w9n’t tell me 9ver Tr9llian.

CA: see you tomorrowv then.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] ceased trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

Cronus sat back in his chair, hands on his head. He was so nervous, but he didn’t want to let Kankri know that. He had to play it cool. But would a little vulnerability look good? No, no. That might make Kankri feel bad if he said no. The last thing he wanted was for Kankri to feel pressured into saying yes or putting him on a guilt trip. It hit him that he had just committed to telling Kankri exactly how he feels. He supposed he could always make up something else.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: if i run away like a cluckbeast and say nothing tomorrowv then i givwe you permission to tell him evwerything.

CA: and you can hit me.

CG: HOW ABOUT WE JUST BET ANOTHER 2 DVDS? I’D MUCH RATHER TAKE YOUR MONEY THAN YOUR DIGNITY. AS TEMPTING AS IT IS, I DON’T THINK THERE’S MUCH LEFT TO TAKE.

CA: fine. its probably a better incentivwe anyvway.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

  “You look like you could use something sweet,” Kankri said when Cronus arrived the next day. He hadn’t had much sleep due to a combination of nerves and the fact he’d ingested quite a bit of sugar yesterday.

  “I’m good.”

  “Is something wrong?” Kankri looked concerned.

  “No, not at all.” Well apart from the fact that his heart was beating fast against his chest. When did he ever let his feelings get the better of him like this? He needed to calm down or he’d never get the words out.

  “As long as you’re sure.” They ascended the stairs and went into Kankri’s room where they settled into the usual positions of Cronus on the bed and Kankri on his chair. “I’m just a little worried about you.”

  “What’s there to worry about?”

  “Well, ten sweeps is a big number – perhaps not for sea dwellers, but still it’s double figures and I was worried you’d do something stupid.”

Cronus laughed. “The thing I’m going to say…to tell you, could be viewed as stupid.”

  “Please just tell me so I can relax,” Kankri begged.

Cronus took a deep breath and exhaled. “Kankri, I…” It was so hard with the other staring right at him with that concerned expression. He decided to look down at his hands for the most part, flicking his eyes up periodically. “I think you’re a really great person – you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. And that’s why this is stupid. Because I never want to destroy that. But I have to do this.” God, if Karkat was wrong he was going to cull him personally. “Take as much time as you want when I…when I finally get round to saying it.” He laughed at his own stalling. “Okay.” It all came out very fast, “I really like you in a red kind of way and have done for so long because you’re so wonderful. I’m flushed for you, Kan, and I want you to be my matesprit.” Oh god, he’d done it and now he couldn’t bear to look up from his clenched hands. The silence was killing him.

He heard Kankri clear his throat, but he still kept his eyes down. “Cronus…I…” Oh no, Kankri was speechless. That wasn’t good. Wait. Maybe that meant he wanted to say yes? Was this silence the sound of an internal struggle?

  “I really like you too.”

Cronus looked up with a smile and was met with Kankri’s pained face.

  “But…I…this wouldn’t work.”

  “Huh? You…we both like each other, so why not?” Cronus reached for Kankri’s hand, but the Cancer pulled away.

  “I can never be the matesprit you deserve.”

Cronus shook his head. “You’re perfect to me; no one would suit me better. If this is about blood, it doesn’t matter; I never cared about the spectrum.”

  “The red quadrant is a concupiscent one,” Kankri said. “I vowed not to get involved in them.” He’d told Cronus he loved him…maybe that had been a mistake. He should have just repressed his feelings.

  “I just want to hold you because I love you; I want to tell you how beautiful you are without seeming odd.” He held out a hand, hoping that Kankri would take it. “We don’t have to be in the red quadrant in its entirety. We just have to be in love and act the way our feelings are telling us to.” Kankri hovered a hand above Cronus’s. “I’ll never ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He dropped his hand. “We don’t even have to touch.” Kankri picked up his hand and held it in his. It was warm and a little sweaty.

  “I want to be close to you,” Kankri said quietly. “I want to act like matesprits when I’m with you. I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “You can’t do that if I don’t have expectations.”

  “And I want to do all these things, but I’m not ready yet. And I don’t know when or if I will be.”

  “That’s absolutely fine.”

Kankri smiled and squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Cronus.”

  “I’ll wait for you until I die.”

That was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to him. He could feel his eyes beginning to water. “I need to go to the ablution block.”

Kankri left in quite a hurry and Cronus was left to breathe a huge sigh of relief. He’d done it and it had gone well – or as well as he could have hoped.

He wandered downstairs in search of a cold drink and noticed the TV on. He walked in to see Karkat with Gamzee’s head resting on his lap, a hand lost in thick black curls.

  “Oh, sorry,” Cronus said as he back tracked. “Didn’t mean to interrupt a feelings jam.”

  “Is it done?” Karkat asked. “Or can I expect -”

  “I told him. And I can’t believe it.”

Karkat shoved Gamzee off him so he could turn to look Cronus in the eye. “He said yes?”

Cronus laughed nervously. “Yeah. I…he said yes.” Or at least that’s what he thought that ‘thank you’ meant.

  “Fucking incredible.”

  “Yeah…” The Aquarius was replaying it in his head, and each time it seemed less real.

  “Well, you’d better get back before he starts wondering what happened to you.”

Cronus nodded and returned back upstairs, forgetting why he had gone down there in the first place. Kankri still hadn’t returned, so he knocked on the door of the ablution block. “You okay, Kan?” There was no reply and he couldn’t hear any noises from within. “Kankri?” A little worry crept into his voice.

The door opened a moment later and Kankri stood there smiling at him. “I’m just fine.”

  “Good. I just thought that maybe I’d…I don’t know, done something…”

  “I just needed a moment,” Kankri said as they returned to his room. “Our conversation was quite overwhelming.”

  “I didn’t pressure you into any of that, did I? Tell me the truth, Kan.”

  “No, I needed to tell you at some point. It’s been tearing me up for ages. I really do love you, Cronus. But I could never bring myself to admit it.”

There was a flutter in his chest when Kankri said it. It was one thing for Karkat to say he said it, but it was so much better to hear it from Kankri’s own mouth. “There’s no shame in telling someone that you care for them so deeply.” He reclined on the bed and closed his eyes. Kankri sat watching him; still thinking about the fact he was breaking a vow by accepting Cronus’s quadrant invitation. But sometimes happiness came first, right? It wasn’t as if his vows mattered to anyone else, they were his personal moral code, something that he could change when he pleased. Of course past versions of himself would be disappointed, but they wouldn’t understand. He wanted Cronus to be happy. He wanted himself to be happy and stop denying himself a simple relationship. As long as their relationship was non-sexual he didn’t see a problem with it existing.

  “Cronus.” Prod. “Cronus, wake up.”

  “Mmm?” He sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Oh, sorry, Kan, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that.”

  “You looked like you needed some sleep, but the sun will rise soon.”

  “Oh right, yeah.” He got up and stretched. “I won’t always be a lousy matesprit, promise.”

  “I’m the lousy one; now hurry before you get burnt.”

He saw Cronus out, stopping to take his hand and squeeze it. “Thank you for today.”

Cronus wanted to reach out and hug him, but knew that he shouldn’t. Not yet. He settled for squeezing back before departing, wanting to yell into the approaching dawn about how happy he was.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: thank you.

CA: for everything youvwe done in this vwhole thing.

CA: ivwe nevwer been more happy.

CG: OH GOD IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE THIS FUCKING SOPPY I’LL BLOCK YOU.

CA: chill, im just trying to showv my gratitude.

CG: FINE. I’M GLAD EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FOR YOU. NOW WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO?

CA: vwhat? i thought you vwere the one making the plans.

CG: I GOT YOU THIS FAR. WHY SHOULD I HAVE ANYTHING MORE TO DO WITH YOUR NOW EXISTANT LOVE LIFE?

CA: because i need your help. i thought you vwere in this to get him to break a vwowv.

CG: I GUESS. PHASE 2 JUST TOOK SO LONG THAT I KIND OF GAVE UP ON THAT. TOO MUCH EFFORT. I HAVE MY OWN QUADRANTS TO THINK ABOUT YOU KNOW.

CA: come on, chief, help a guy out here. you knowv howv these things vwork.

CG: FINE. I NEVER THOUGHT HE’D ACTUALLY AGREE TO ANY OF THIS, SO I HAVEN’T GOT A PLAN FOR PHASE 3. OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD I’D SUGGEST THAT YOU CONTINUE AS YOU ARE AND LET HIM ADJUST TO THE IDEA FIRST.

CG: ANYWAY I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO RIGHT NOW.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

A knock at the door.

  “I don’t think now’s a good time,” Karkat said.

  “Why?” Cronus asked.

From upstairs they heard Kankri call, “Let him in.”

Karkat stepped aside and allowed the Aquarius in. “Sort him out.”

Cronus raised an eyebrow, but Karkat was already returning to the film pile he’d been rummaging through. He ascended the stairs and was greeted by the sight of a very odd looking Kankri. The Cancer sat with his head against the wall near the open window, clothed in only shorts and a sleeveless top. He’d never seen Kankri in so little.

  “What’s up?” Cronus asked. “Not really the weather to be sitting with the window open like that.”

  “I’m just a little warm,” Kankri said airily. “I can close it if you want.”

  “Kan, are you okay?”

The other nodded, but it wasn’t very convincing. Cronus walked over and placed the back of his hand against Kankri’s bare arm. The troll had warm blood, but this was warmer than his usual mutant heat. Kankri flinched at the contact.

  “I’m fine.”

  “No you’re not.” Cronus put a hand to his forehead which was just as warm as his arm. “Why aren’t you resting?”

  “I am.” Kankri gave a small cough. “I thought we could watch something and relax together.”

  “So you got up and got ready just for me?” He was touched. “I appreciate that, Kan, but you look terrible. Now I want you to get in your recuperacoon and stay there.”

  “But I want to spend time with you.”

  “And I want you to get better.”

  “It’s just a fever.”

Cronus rolled his eyes. “I’ll leave if you don’t hop in that recuperacoon.”

  “But -”

  “No buts.” He began to lift the hem of Kankri’s shirt.

  “Stop, stop!” Kankri grabbed Cronus’s wrists. “Fine. I’ll get in. Just wait outside.”

  “Thank you.” Cronus left and closed the door behind him, only re-entering when Kankri called him back.

The Cancer sat up to his neck in slime, resting his chin on the edge of the recuperacoon.

  “Better?” Cronus asked as he pulled a chair closer.

  “Yes.”

  “Good.”

Kankri closed his eyes, beginning to feel drowsy. “I’m sorry.”

Cronus laughed. “For being ill?”

  “For making you drive all the way out here to find me like this.”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

They lapsed into silence and Cronus took his leave once he was certain Kankri was asleep. He would have loved to have sat there and watched over the other, but he’d probably end up being more of a distraction.

  “That didn’t take long,” Karkat said. “He wouldn’t listen to me.”

  “Wasn’t hard. Anyway, see you.”

He wished Kankri could be ill more often if he got rid of Cronus that quickly.

**ooo**

Karkat allowed Cronus to attend the weekly Vantas movie night. The two would alternate who got to chose the film and this week it was once again Karkat’s pleasure to inflict a rom-com on the pair. Today’s film of choice was courtesy of John; human 50 First Dates. He’d seen the troll version more times than he was willing to admit – it was such a heart wrenching story – so he figured he’d give the human version a try.

He sat in his chair, the prime position in the room, curled up with a tub of ice cream. Cronus and Kankri took the sofa. They started with at least a few inches between them, no contact being made. Over the course of the film Kankri edged closer to the other until they were right next to each other. Cronus let his arm slide down from the top of the sofa and rest around Kankri’s shoulders. The smaller troll said nothing and rested his head against the other’s shoulder. By the end of the film the Cancer was asleep against him. Why did the film have to end? Couldn’t they just lay here like this a while longer? Forever?

  “It’s almost tempting to take a picture,” Karkat whispered. “Can’t believe he fell asleep though. The film wasn’t that bad, was it?”

  “I liked it.”

  “You would.”

  “Should I wake him?” Cronus asked.

Karkat shrugged. “You could, or you could carry him upstairs and lay him on his bed, probably more comfortable. Doubt he’d want you to put him in his recuperacoon.”

Cronus nodded and lifted the other in his arms. He thought he’d woken Kankri, but the troll just nuzzled into his chest. God, he could watch him sleep all day, especially when he was being this adorable.

  “Oh. And once you’ve done that, leave.”

  “Don’t trust me?”

  “Just a reminder not to screw this up.”

Cronus rolled his eyes. As if he would now he’d gotten this far. Carefully he ascended the stairs and gently placed Kankri on the bed. The other held onto him and drowsily whispered his name. He smiled and gave Kankri a pillow to clutch onto instead then bent over and placed a quick kiss on his forehead. “Sleep well, my love.”

He returned downstairs where Karkat gave him a pleased nod. “You can sleep on the sofa or the movie pile, but the cases dig in.”

  “Thanks, chief.”

Karkat left him and he kicked back on the sofa, hoping that tonight’s closeness wouldn’t be a one off.

**ooo**

  “Where’s Cronus?” Kankri asked.

  “I don’t know,” Karkat replied as he ate breakfast. “Left him in the main room, but I guess he left as soon as the sun was down.”

  “Oh.” He was slightly disappointed. “Did he take me upstairs last night?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And he didn’t opt to stay with me? How odd.”

Karkat shrugged. “Thought you didn’t want that.”

Kankri said nothing and went about pouring himself some grub juice. Sometimes he just wanted to have sweet cuddle sessions, but he could never pluck up the courage to initiate them.

  “Well you know you can invite him to stay for a day and actually be with you rather than watching my film and falling asleep on him.”

  “I didn’t mean to fall asleep like that,” Kankri said. “But if you’re okay with that then maybe I will one day.”

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: he finally hugged me of his ovwn accord today.

CG: GOOD FOR YOU.

CA: come on, thats real progress right there.

CG: I KNOW. GET BACK TO ME WHEN HE FINALLY GETS TO KISSING.

CA: vwhats up vwith you today?

CG: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

CA: alright, alright.

CA: i just vwanted to ask if you think its a good time for me to ask him out to dinner.

CG: SURE. DON’T NEED TO ASK MY PERMISSION.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

CA: hey babe.

CG: Hell9. H9w are y9u t9day?

CA: im great. And you?

CG: W9nderful.

CA: so i vwas thinking…id like to take you out to dinner.

CG: 99h, h9w exciting. Where are we g9ing?

CA: just a little place i like. vwanted to take you there as a treat.

CG: I can’t wait.

CG: <3

CA: <3

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] ceased trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

The restaurant in question was more like a drinking house that sold food. Not quite what Kankri had been expecting when Cronus had offered to take him out, but this was definitely his style. There was live music and the place got progressively more crowded the longer they were there. It was okay, but he really wanted to be able to hear what Cronus was saying, rather than yelling and making hand gestures. They finished dessert and Cronus held out a hand. Kankri took it and Cronus led him to the area before the stage where people were dancing. He wasn’t particularly good at dancing or overly comfortable with attempting to in public. But Cronus was there moving to the beat and he took Kankri’s hands and began to move him too. Soon his feet were moving, matching what Cronus was doing and he was smiling. This was fun and wonderful and they were becoming so lost in their own little world.

Cronus pulled him close. “We should go.” He began to lead him out of the crowd.

Kankri was sad that it was over so soon, but now that he finally sat down on the motor vehicle he could feel how tired he was.

Cronus dropped him off and they shared a hug before he departed.

  “Thank you for this evening. It was great.”

Cronus smiled. “I’m so glad you enjoyed it.” He had worried that Kankri was going to hate it, but sometimes you just had to take a chance.

Kankri’s arms rested around Cronus’ neck and he hesitated a moment longer before placing a quick chaste kiss on the Aquarius’ cheek.

Cronus stood there rather shocked, a hand coming up to ghost over the place where Kankri’s lips had touched him. God he wanted so much to show Kankri a proper kiss. Surely he knew how much of a tease he was being? Instead he just smiled and said goodbye.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: dude he kissed me!

CG: HOLY SHIT ALREADY???

CA: vwell, just on the cheek, but thats good enough.

CG: FUCK OFF. I DON’T NEED EVERY SINGLE UPDATE ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

CA: but

CG: NO. GO AWAY.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 

CA: hey kar wwhats up

CG: NOTHING.

CA: okay just checkin because wwe havvent spoken for a wwhile

CG: I KNOW CRONUS IS PROBABLY STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

CA: i don’t let anyone stand right behind me but he did say i should check on you

CG: WELL YOU CAN TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF.

CA: he says hes sorry

CG: FOR WHAT?

CA: he doesnt knoww wwhat he did to upset you but he says sorry

CG: HE JUST NEEDS TO LEAVE ME ALONE. TELL HIM I’LL TALK TO HIM AGAIN WHEN I’M READY.

CA: he didnt look happy but hes gone noww

CA: so wwhats the deal

CG: NOTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT.

CA: fine

CA: just trying to help a bro out

CG: I’LL BE FINE WHEN GAMZEE GETS BACK.

CA: wwhered he go

CG: NO FUCKING CLUE. NO ONE KNOWS AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN HE’LL BE BACK.

CA: maybe you should think about callin it off wwith him and findin a neww moirail

CG: CAN’T JUST DITCH HIM. WE NEED EACH OTHER. ANYWAY I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT MY SHITTY PROBLEMS WITH YOU.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] began trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

CA: did you catch damaras invwite?

CG: Yes. Half in Japanese, 6ut she made a decent attempt. At least I was a6le t9 understand her message.

CA: are you going?

CG: N9.

CA: awv, vwhy not? itll be fun.

CG: I really w9uld rather n9t. 6ut have fun with the 9thers.

CA: ill be lonely vwithout you babe.

CG: Cr9nus, I said I’m n9t g9ing and that’s final.

CA: sorry.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] ceased trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

  “Cronus?” Kankri was surprised to see him on the doorstep. “I thought you were out with the others?”

  “Yeah, I was.” Cronus walked in and pulled Kankri into his arms. “But I was missing something, you know.”

  “Are you drunk?” Kankri asked as he pushed Cronus away.

  “No. I stayed for a few, but I’m good. Managed to drive here, didn’t I?”

Kankri still didn’t look too impressed. “I suppose.”

  “I’ll go if you want me to, but I just wanted to see you. Haven’t seen you since last week.”

  “I know and I really wanted to see you too.” Kankri took his hand. “I was thinking a lot… Um, I’ll meet you upstairs.”

Kankri arrived with a glass of water each, taking a seat in his chair as usual. “I thought I would have seen you sooner.”

  “Had a few things to do.” He scratched the back of his neck. He’d been staying away because of the thing with Karkat, but he wasn’t going to tell Kankri that. “But I’m here now.”

  “I’m glad.” He set his glass down and took a seat on the bed next to Cronus. “I just…” He couldn’t get the words out. Was now the time? Maybe he should wait for a better moment. No, it was all he could think about now. He was finally comfortable with the idea of kissing Cronus and he wanted to do it now.

He lifted a hand and traced the highblood’s lips. “I love you so much, Cronus. And I want to try something.” He moved so that he was able to place both of his hands on Cronus’s shoulders and then slowly moved in so that his lips brushed against the Aquarius’s. Okay, he really was a tease Cronus decided when the other moved away again after the brief contact. He couldn’t help himself, and he knew he probably shouldn’t, but he really wanted to. He pulled Kankri back towards him; bringing their lips together once more, moving against him and pushing him back down onto the bed. Kankri made a noise that he wasn’t sure if it meant ‘no’ or ‘yes’. He decided the later was more likely. His tongue began to explore Kankri’s mouth and hands began to grip onto his shirt and press against him. Kankri pounded against his chest and he broke the kiss, both needing air.

  “Cronus,” Kankri breathed as he began to place kisses on the Cancer’s jaw. “Cronus, stop.”

  “Aren’t you enjoying this?” Cronus asked as he slid a hand under the hem of Kankri’s sweater.

  “No, this is too fast.” His voice was becoming higher pitched. “Cronus, stop it!” He struggled against the bigger troll. “Stop!”

Cronus stroked his cheek. “Shh, no need to yell so loud, babe.”

  “Then get the fuck off me!” Kankri yelled as Cronus sat straddling him, a hand still on his bare stomach.

At that moment Karkat burst in and pulled Cronus unceremoniously by the fin off of his dancestor.

  “Woah, chill with the fin pinching,” Cronus cried.

  “Out!” Karkat ordered. He pushed the older troll down the hall and followed him down the stairs.

  “I was just -” Cronus tried to explain.

  “Just go.” Karkat shoved him out the door and slammed it behind him. Then he ran upstairs to find Kankri sat with his knees pulled up to his chest. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  “No,” Kankri said as he pulled his knees in tighter. “Just a little triggering.”

Karkat walked over and pulled his dancestor into his arms. He couldn’t replace Porrim, but it was the best he could do right now.

  “I told him that it wouldn’t work, but he insisted that we could try and be matesprits.”

  “He was doing a pretty good job,” Karkat said. Sure he disliked the guy with a passion, but he was surprised that they’d made it work for so long without an incident.

  “He was,” Kankri agreed. “This was my fault.”

  “Hey. No blaming yourself for this.”

  “But I started it by kissing him.”

Karkat gave him a small pap on the cheek. “But he’s the one that took it further. Let me know if there’s anything you need.” He let go of the other, deciding that was enough contact for one night lest he trigger Kankri more.

Kankri smiled. “I’m not a wiggler, but thank you.”

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] unblocked casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

CG: YOU THINKPANLESS PRIMITIVE PILE OF STEAMING SHIT. WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET GLOBE TICKLING FUCK WAS THAT? I THOUGHT YOU HAD THIS ALL COVERED AND THEN YOU GO AND PULL A STUPENDOULY STUPID MOVE LIKE THAT? YOU KNOW I ACTUALLY HAD SOME HOPE FOR YOU, AMPORA. THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO CRACK THIS NUT. BUT TURNS OUT YOU’RE AS IDIOTIC AS I ORIGINALLY SUGGESTED. THANK YOU FOR PROVING ME RIGHT.

CA: i feel like a complete tvwat. i really am vworthless and i should just go and vwait for the sun to burn me as punishment.

CG: WELL I’M GLAD YOU REALISE THE SEVERITY OF THIS.

CA: i vwas just about to get off him vwhen you vwalked in.

CG: NOT FUCKING QUICK ENOUGH, NOOKSTAIN.

CA: i knowv. i vwas a bit tipsier than i thought. things just got out of hand and i couldnt help myself.

CG: AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO PAY THE PRICE. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, BECAUSE I’M NOT HELPING YOU.

CG: HAVE YOU APOLOGISED YET?

CA: i vwas vwriting something just before you started yelling at me.

CG: MAKE IT GOOD.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

                                    

casanovasAnchors [CA] began trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

CA: kankri, i really cant apologise enough for vwhat happened last night. i vwas a little tipsy and i knowv thats no excuse. i vwas going to stop, but i vwas a bit slowv on the uptake. sorry i triggered you by being a complete douchebag. i don’t expect you to forgivwe me, so if you nevwer vwant to see me again, that’s fine.

CA: i just vwant you to knowv that ill nevwer stop regretting it.

CA: forget i said that. i don’t vwant you to forgivwe me because i guilt tripped you into it.

CG: I sh9uldn’t have kissed y9u when I knew y9u’d 6een 9ut.

CA: kan, none of this is your fault.

CG: 6ut if I hadn’t then n9ne 9f that w9uld have happened.

CA: stop it, kan. its my fault. just tell me if you’re okay.

CG: I’m fine. And I d9 want t9 see y9u again…I d9n’t want t9 n9t 6e friends anym9re. I said that this might n9t w9rk 9ut, 6ut I’d 6e happy t9 g9 6ack t9 h9w we were 6ef9re.

CA: i dont vwant that. i lovwe you, kan. i vwant to stay in the red vwith you.

CG: 6ut it’s n9t w9rking. My v9ws are just never g9ing t9 all9w us t9 6e t9gether h9w y9u want us to 6e.

CA: thats not howv i vwant it to be. i vwant it to be howv you vwant it to be.

CG: Y9u can’t deny that what happened last night was what y9u truly desire deep d9wn. It’s what any matesprit w9uld want.

CA: kan, please, youre making this so hard for me.

CG: It’s n9t easy f9r me either. I really d9 want t9 6e with y9u, Cr9nus, 6ut I’d rather we ended it n9w while it’s still early days. This is 9nly g9ing t9 get harder f9r us 69th.

CA: kan…i cant do this. can i come ovwer and vwell talk about this?

CG: I guess.

 

casanovasAnchor [CA] ceased trolling castelessGuardian [CG]

 

He really wanted to do this online. He knew that as soon as Cronus was there with him in the flesh his resolve would break and he’d be unable to say no. But it was unfair on them both to continue going like they were.

  “Karkat.”

  “What?” The younger Vantas pulled off his headphones.

  “What should I do about Cronus?”

  “Did he apologise?”

  “Yes, and he wants us to stay together.”

  “Do you want that?”

A pained look crossed Kankri’s face. “I do, but this isn’t working.”

Karkat hadn’t really put much more thought into which side he was going to go for. Sure he thought that Cronus had been way out of line, but the guy treated Kankri better than everyone else and would probably never make a mistake like that again. And if they were to break up then it would probably be a long time before Kankri found someone else who would put up with his bullshit.

  “If you want my honest opinion,” Karkat said, “I think you should stay with him. He’s clearly a good match for you and he cares more than I do, so that’s something.”

  “Well that’s nice to hear,” Kankri said sarcastically.

  “Hey, I’m trying to make him seem like a nice guy for once. And I know that if you break it off you’ll regret it. So just tell him how you want this to play out and I would bet money that he agrees to all your terms and conditions.”

  “Okay, thank you for your input.” Now it was going to be even harder.

**ooo**

  “Cronus,” Kankri greeted him when he opened the door.

  “Ampora!” Karkat rushed down the stairs and pushed him back outside, closing the front door behind them. “Walk with me.” Cronus followed obediently until Karkat was satisfied that Kankri wouldn’t be able to hear them from where he stood in the doorway, watching them with surprise and confusion. Karkat actually talking to Cronus? Not something that happened everyday.

  “Look, he’s probably going to take you back.”

  “Really? It sounded like I was in for a tough time.”

  “I spoke to him and he really does want to make it work, with his rules of course,” Karkat explained. “I’m not saying you have to accept them, you’re free to walk out of this and just be his friend or whatever. But if you do accept his offer, you better stick to it properly this time. If you fuck it up I will not hesitate to throw your greasy ass out and never let you back into my hive. Am I clear?”

  “As clear as water, chief.”

  “Good. I want this to work for the both of you, but I won’t just stand there and watch if you start hurting him, physically or otherwise.”

  “I got it.”

  “Good luck then.” He walked back to the hive and Kankri eyed them both, trying to figure out what Karkat had said.

  “Do I get to know what that was about?”

  “Just Karkat being the best dancestor you could ask for.” Cronus gave Karkat a squeeze around the shoulders.

  “Get the fuck off me.”

Cronus smiled and let go, following Kankri up to his respiteblock.

  “So,” Cronus began.

  “So…” Kankri repeated.

  “Are you still dead set against us staying together?”

  “I don’t know,” Kankri said quietly. “It’s unfair on you.”

  “No, it’s not. It’s everything I want and need.”

  “Why do you need me when there are trolls out there that will fulfil your _every_ need?”

  “I don’t love them like I do you.”

Kankri sighed. “You just haven’t met the right one yet.”

  “You are the right one. I’ve known that for a long time. And no matter how many Alternian trolls I meet, I will never find one as kind hearted and lovely as you.”

  “They’d have me culled.”

  “Kan, you can use that excuse as many times as you wish, but I’d never leave you because of that. Now tell me what I can do to make sure we stay together?”

A frown appeared on Kankri’s face. “If I’m honest it’s a list of things that restricts you and I don’t want to do that.”

Cronus held out a hand as he had done before. “We can go back to square one: no touching.”

Kankri took his hand. “No, I would allow some contact.”

  “Tell me where the line is and I’ll never cross it. Oh – Kan, what’s wrong?”

Kankri shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “It’s just…you’re too nice to me, Cronus.” He sniffed. “I really don’t deserve someone as wonderful as you.”

Cronus reached out and wiped a tear from his cheek. “But you really do. Come here.” He held out his arms and Kankri accepted the hug, sitting in Cronus’s lap. “This okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m happy to cuddle with you.” He pushed Cronus down onto the bed and snuggled up to him. “I like this. It’s nice.”

  “Relaxing.”

  “We should just lie like this more often. Rather than sitting so far apart.”

  “I’d like that.”

Kankri put an ear to his chest. “I can hear your blood pusher. Are you nervous?”

  “Maybe a little.”

He stayed like that for a while, waiting for Cronus’s heart to slow, enjoying the feeling of his chest rising and falling.

  “Can I kiss you?” Kankri asked.

  “If you want.”

  “You’re okay with that?”

  “I can control myself, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Kankri moved so that he could capture Cronus’ lips in a slow kiss. For someone who hadn’t had much practise, Kankri sure was a good kisser. He let his hands find Kankri’s body as he deepened the kiss, but he didn’t move them, just held him there.

When they broke Cronus asked, “Is this okay?” Patting his hips where his hands had ended up.

  “Yes, I’m sure you can figure out what’s off limits.”

  “This is perfect as it is.” He wrapped his arms around Kankri. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

CG: WILL YOU TWO CUT IT OUT?

CA: vwhat? vwhy are you trolling me vwhen im just dovwnstairs?

CG: BECAUSE YOU TWO JUST LAY ON THE COUCH ALL DAY HAVING YOUR SLOPPY MAKEOUTS AND IT’S DISGUSTING.

CA: vwhat?! i thought that vwas the plan.

CA: and nowv its happening you dont like it? tough.

CG: I DON’T LIKE IT EVERY FUCKING DAY IN MY HIVE. GO BACK TO YOURS.

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BRING GAMZEE OVER HERE AND WE WILL HAVE OUR OWN SLOPPY MAKE OUT RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

CA: thats just vwrong.

CG: WE WILL IF WE HAVE TO. I GAVE KANKRI A ROOM FOR A REASON. USE IT.

CA: okay, chill out.

CA: Karkat, I d9n’t appreciate y9u harassing my matesprit like this. If y9u have a pr96lem y9u c9uld just tell me.

CG: USE YOUR ROOM YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCK.

CA: Language.

CG: NEXT TIME I WALK PAST THAT PILE OF SOP I’M GOING TO THROW UP ON IT.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling casanovasAnchor [CA]

 

A few weeks later Cronus walked in to find Karkat straddling Gamzee on the couch, looking pretty smug with himself. He pecked Gamzee on the lips when Cronus walked in.

  “S’up?” he asked as Gamzee pecked his cheek.

Cronus just raised an eyebrow at the two. “You weren’t kidding. I can’t believe it.”

  “I told you to piss off into his room.” He slid a finger up one of Gamzee’s horns, earning a low chuckle and both of Cronus’s eyebrows rising.

The older troll held up his hands and made a heart shape, then a diamond with his fingers, ending by breaking them in a questioning manner. Karkat put two fingers up at Cronus before joining them with Gamzee to make a diamond.

  “Jealous?”

  “Of being with a Makara? No way.” Karkat returned his fingers to pointing in Cronus’s direction. “Besides there’s that saying ‘rails don’t pail’ so it’s not like I’m missing out on much.”

Karkat ground his hips down against Gamzee. “At least I get this far.”

  “You wanna go further, bro?” Gamzee asked, sliding a hand down between them.

Karkat swatted his hand away. “Not in front of this asshole.” He leaned in for another kiss.

  “Well, I don’t know what got into you today, and I really thought we were just beginning to become good friends, but I’m going now.” And just like that he’d managed to get rid of Cronus for the rest of the evening. Success.

  “Gamzee, were you serious about going further?”

  “Whatever a brother wants to do.”

  “You’re with Tavros though; you can’t be having a pale-red vacillation, unless you’re not telling me something.”

  “It’s just about helping a brother to get his motherfucking relax on. No flushed feelings here for my palebro.”

  “Okay, good, because you and Tav are meant to be.”

**ooo**

Months in the future, but not many, Kankri would have the hive to himself with Karkat being out at the Makaras’. He and Cronus were able to enjoy themselves without Karkat rolling his eyes every time he spotted them having a moment. They were currently on the bed, enjoying each other’s lips as usual. Kankri’s hand was on Cronus’s chest, sliding down until he was able to slip it under his shirt and begin to feel bare flesh, moving it across defined abs.

Cronus pulled away. “Woah there, what are you doing?” It wasn’t that he didn’t want Kankri to touch him, but if he couldn’t do the same then there was no way he could allow it. He was sure it would only land him in an embarrassing situation.

Kankri removed his hand and sat up. “Cronus, I’ve been thinking…about things…us. And we’ve been matesprits for a while now and I think we should enjoy each other as matesprits do.” God, he was blushing furiously.

  “Wait. You mean…” Cronus looked at him and Kankri nodded, knowing exactly what he was implying. “But what about your vows?”

  “I’m okay with breaking them. I love you, Cronus, and I want to show you how much.”

  “I know you love me, you don’t have to do anything else.”

Kankri ran a hand through Cronus’s hair, making sure to brush the base of a horn.

  “Kan, stop.”

  “Why? Don’t you want to touch me?”

  “I do, but I don’t want you to regret this.”

Kankri smiled. “This is why you’re my matesprit. I appreciate that you think I will regret it, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I’ve come to the conclusion that now is a good time to open myself up to you completely. I’m comfortable enough with you now to allow this.”

  “The way you phrased that didn’t convince me that you want to do this.”

Kankri straddled his hips. “Well there are some things I’d like to wait to do, but I want us to feel good together.”

  “I’m tempted to make you tie my hands down so that when you decide this was a bad idea I can say I told you so.”

  “Well you’re not exactly running away in refusal, are you?”

  “Can’t lie and say that I’m not interested in what you’re planning.”

Kankri pulled Cronus’s shirt over his head and then discarded his own sweater before lying down on Cronus’s chest. “Nowhere is off limits today.” He returned to devouring the highblood’s face, hands finding the lightening bolt horns. As much as Cronus wanted to get in on the fun, he wasn’t going to just yet. He kept his hands on Kankri’s hips as he always did. It was becoming harder to stay relaxed with Kankri massaging the base of his horns like that.

  “You’re not being very fun,” Kankri complained. He placed his hands over Cronus’s and moved them so that they brushed against the nubs on his head, making himself shiver. “They’re really sensitive.”

Cronus snatched his hands back and used them to cover his eyes. “I’m sorry, Kan. This is really hard for me.”

  “And I’m getting really hard for you.”

  “Fuck. I stopped all of this. I stopped thinking of this ever happening, hell I even stopped this all is my wildest fantasies. Do you know how hard it is to suddenly be told you can have it?”

  “I do,” he said as he fingered the button of Cronus’s jeans. “That’s why it’s taken so long for me to allow this. But it’ll be so wonderful when you just relax and allow it to happen.”

Cronus sighed. “Whatever you say. I’ll try.” Then he had an idea. “How about you play with yourself to get me started?”

  “Okay then.” Kankri adopted a familiar position; one hand on a horn, the other tweaking a nipple. It felt odd to have someone watch him, but there was something rather arousing about the fact that it was Cronus. This was his fantasies coming to life. He closed his eyes and let out some pleased noises as he became more relaxed, feeling his bulge beginning to wake. Cronus began to mirror Kankri’s movements on his own body, finally getting into the mood.

The Cancer began to undo his trousers, a little hesitant as he slipped them off. He’d never been naked in front of anyone else before and he certainly didn’t have the most impressive body, especially with his half out red tinted bulge. He reminded himself that Cronus was fine with his blood colour, but there was still an ingrained instinct that made him want to cover it up. A wave of regret swept over him as he realised what he’d gotten himself into. Here he was naked on top of Cronus about to do something he’d always sworn never to do. Was it too late to back out? No, he wanted this. Maybe a small part of his mind was still against it, but his body was already stimulated enough to make him continue.

Cronus swept his eyes over the other, beautiful as he was, his best feature was still his flushing face. Kankri caught the other watching him and got to relieving Cronus of the rest of his clothes, sliding a hand up his leg experimentally.

  “Kan.”

Kankri looked up from the bulge he had been staring at. “Yes?”

Cronus slid back and propped himself up against the headboard. “Come here. We’re not ready for that yet.” Kankri wrapped his arms around Cronus, glad for a little more time.

  “What are we doing then?”

  “More sloppy make outs with inappropriate touching until one of us can’t take it anymore.”

Kankri smirked. “Sounds like a plan.”

They locked lips once more and let hands loose on each other. Kankri went for delicate fins while Cronus worked his way up from hips, ghosting across his ribs, brushing against nipples. The Aquarius got the upper hand when he began to give Kankri’s horns the attention he’d denied them earlier, making Kankri gasp into their kiss. He moved so that he was kissing his neck instead, letting the sweet sounds fill the room.

  “Ah – Cronus…stop.”

Cronus let his hands fall and laughed. “I thought I was going to have to lick them to get you to give in.”

Kankri relaxed with his head on Cronus’s shoulder. “It felt really good; I didn’t want you to stop.”

  “I can keep going.”

  “No.” He moved his hips closer to Cronus and guided his slick bulge to the violet one so that they entwined.

Cronus let out a contented sigh as they began to slide over each other. “God, Kan, that’s amazing.”

  “Mmm…it is.”

Hands found his horns once more and he was reduced to a moaning mess, calling Cronus’s name just like the recording he’d replayed so many times. He rocked his hips slowly, making sure to keep their bulges in contact, but needing to move.

Cronus slid a hand between Kankri’s legs, but the Cancer pulled away.

  “Ah – no – I need a pail.” He leaned over the side of the bed and pulled out the one he always left under there, then wedged it between his legs. Cronus got on his knees too, resuming where he’d left off, this time running his tongue up a horn. Kankri gripped him tightly as he released his genetic material, panting heavily.

  “How was that?” Cronus asked once he’d caught his breath.

  “Amazing.”

  “Good, now you gonna help me out?”

Kankri moved the bucket so it was between Cronus’s legs and then used a hand to start stroking his writhing bulge. It felt odd to be touching one that wasn’t his own, but it was just as rewarding when he listened to his matesprit’s breath hitch. He resumed kissing the Aquarius while his other hand wrapped around a horn.

  “Ngh, finger me, Kan.”

  “I’m not comfortable with that.” Nooks were a no-go for now; he didn’t even touch his own.

  “Ah, fine. Go a bit faster then. Mmm…I’m so close, Kan.”

Kankri pumped his bulge a few more times and then Cronus let out a satisfied moan as he released. The Cancer kept going as he rode out his orgasm, enjoying the look on Cronus’s flushed face.

  “I cannot believe we just did that,” Cronus said as he removed the bucket from between his legs.

  “Me neither.” Kankri fell back on the bed, not a single ounce of regret left.

  “And look, together we make tyrian.” Cronus held the bucket out toward him and Kankri pushed it away.

  “You’re spoiling the nice afterglow.”

Cronus set the bucket down and lay down next to the Cancer. “Aw, I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through Kankri’s hair, admiring his face before placing a kiss on his forehead. “Love you.”

  “What’s with the cute act?”

  “Nothing, you just look particularly adorable right now.”

Kankri pulled a pillow up to his face. He thought Cronus would be complimenting him on how sexy he was, rather than how cute he was. Which he really didn’t consider himself worthy of either adjective, but definitely not ‘adorable.’ 

  “And now you look even sweeter.” That earned him a pillow to the face. “Not my fault you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He pulled Kankri into a spoon position and placed a kiss on his neck. “You tired?”

  “Yeah,” he whispered, glad for a change of subject. “Can we stay like this?”

  “That was the plan.”

**ooo**

  “Okay. My fucks just flew out the window.” Karkat said when he walked in the next day to find a topless Cronus in his food block alongside a Kankri in nothing but a thin robe that he didn’t even wear around the house when it was just him and Karkat. Kankri was cooking them something and Cronus was just putting some cutlery on the table.

  “It’s a little warm in here,” Kankri said.

Karkat gave him a sarcastic ‘sure’ look, but the other Vantas was too busy with what he was cooking to notice. Karkat pointed at Cronus, then to Kankri and then made a hole with a thumb and index finger which he then put his other index finger through. Cronus waved a hand in a ‘sort of’ motion to which Karkat held his hands up to say ‘what does that even mean?’ They either broke the vow or they didn’t. And by the looks of things they did. So Karkat made a snapping motion and Cronus nodded eagerly. Karkat nodded slowly with an expression that said ‘not bad.’ He gave him a thumbs up before heading upstairs. Well, that took the fun out of things now it was over and done with.

**ooo**

It all went downhill from there for Karkat. And he only had himself to blame. He’d been the one spurring them on, trying to get Kankri laid. And now he had it turned out Kankri quite enjoyed it. Enough to have Cronus round more than half of the week and occasionally making it so that Karkat would end up leaving his room in favour of the film pile downstairs. The whole ‘Kankri sounds hot’ novelty had worn off and it certainly wasn’t fun when Cronus was grunting alongside him. Once again they seemed to have forgotten whose hive it was.

Well, he’d just have to take a trip to the Ampora hive and fuck shit up there. With Eridan’s permission of course, although he was almost certain the more tolerable Aquarius would more than happily grant him access to Cronus’s block. The war was just beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know where to end. So I’ll stop there before I subject you to more sex and an angry Karkat.


End file.
